👣 Step 50: Processing Complex Emotions

These past few days I've experienced a handful of things where I just haven't immediately known what to feel. This newsletter is both an act to sort out my own thoughts while hopefully helping you do the same.

Here are some of those experiences, and my complex feelings around them:

1. My dad's dad passed away Monday night. We weren't close with him - really no one in the family was (long story short: his own choices). My dad and I hadn't seen or talked to my grandfather in almost 15 years. But it still feels weird to not mourn the passing of a family member. Why is that?

2. SpaceX announced a $100 billion investment into Southern Louisiana. It's the largest economic development project in our state's history and could dynamically alter our trajectory. It also brings up valid concerns about secrecy, speed over stability, and the need to protect our coast, wildlife, Cajun culture, and broader environment. But I can't fully solidify my own thoughts on the project and what I believe it means for our state and people. Why is that?

3. Goodwill and KLFY are partnering on an exciting donation competition series among local high schools. It's a new, fun, and unique way to engage our community while supporting our mission. But it feels like an ambiguous cloud over my head - like my mind is a computer with an constant open tab. Why is that?

These are just three experiences from the past 2-3 days. They have some similarities (lack of context, lack of control, or societal expectations), but they're not all the same. They are all things where I didn't immediately know what to think, and they're taking time to digest.

Here's what I'm doing to process these:

1. Pause and be still. Put the phone down and go on a walk or sit in silence. Give your brain time to process your thoughts and feelings without constant stimuli. Nowadays, the only time we spend alone with our thoughts is in the shower or prayer/meditation. No wonder our minds become clearer then. We're clogging it up at all other times.
2. Step outside of yourself. Sometimes we're too close to the situation at hand. Removing ourselves from how we currently feel and viewing things from a broader perspective ("birds eye view") can help us remove our emotion or anecdotal perspective.
3. Clarify. Fear and confusion exist in the vague. Often, when we refine and clarify our thoughts around something - by asking "what is driving me to feel this way?" or seeking out other perspectives/knowledge - we realize that our negative feelings come from a lack of clarity. When we really zoom in on our root cause, we're bent up over one small thing in a larger picture. Yet that small thing muddies all of the water.
4. Be open minded and curious. Maybe your thoughts and feelings are valid. Maybe they're completely wrong. Maybe they're kind of right, but missing important context. Maybe they're not even your thoughts at all - people just influenced you to think a certain way about something, and you never realized. These things happen. What matters is that you stay open-minded and curious. Like I stated at the end of each scenario, ask yourself: "Why is that?"

Am I an expert in this? No.

Are these all the things you can do to process complex situations/feelings? No.

But is it a good start? Definitely. And we gotta start somewhere.

It's important that we take a moment to better understand ourselves and why we think the way we think or feel the way we feel before we tried to lead others.

Lead yourself so you can lead others.

See you next Thursday, Steppers.

We will succeed,

Grayson

​graysonstepanek.com​

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Song of the Week:

UNETHICAL Faouzia PREVIEW   ​

Saw a live performance of this song on Instagram and immediately was hooked. The vocals are absolutely insane - they just envelop you. Both headphones in for this one.